We see other people behaving in a particular way, and we do the same. These instances are usually short term, and are not indicative of a general change in behavior. So, if you have explained what respect is, don’t expect your child to be able to apply that concept to day-to-day situations without support and direction. However, here are some quick and easy ideas of how to teach respect to young children. Most people I know would not do such a thing to others, whether it’s their friends or someone they don’t know. On some occasions, your child is disrespectful in a situation because they are emulating your behavior. Learn what it is, how to explain it to your child, why a kid might be disrespectful, and what to do about it when they are. How to Stop Toddler Banging Head (7 Tips to Try), How to Stop Toddlers from Hitting and Biting, Tips on How to Deal with Toddler Tantrums, 250 Questions for Kids (To Get Them Talking), 50 of the Best Boys’ First Birthday Party Ideas, 50 Girls’ First Birthday Party Ideas (To Bring a Smile to Your Princess). Much of how we learn to behave is subconscious. It’s free to read and use in the classroom. This product is designed to help students from Pre-School-2nd grade learn and practice being respectful. It’s important that we teach our kids that respect is inclusive. Any leftover focus was spent on making sure she didn’t fall down the stairs. Give them plenty of simple examples. Be Respectful When You Correct Your Child Try to separate the words and behaviors from you and your child. They were only being compliant when they were kids. These new influences in their life might not be real people either. If you’re wondering how to teach respect to kids, we’ll give you a crash course. Instead, look at the following hints and tips now, and you will be able to cope more appropriately when the time comes. It can be how you react when driving. One can be firm and kind at the same time when disciplining. Identify if this is a real “disrespect” situation, a misunderstanding or simply because the child hasn’t learned the proper response in such a situation. You need to model respect for your child. If I don’t like what she wants, I will explain my rationale. But instead of saying, “If you refuse to put your toys away, we are not going to the park,” frame it differently. Disrespectful kids usually say that because they are angry. When teaching any type of behavior, the most important thing is to be a role model for your child. However, don’t overwhelm your child by giving them a list of things they must and must not say and do. Second, by making sure your kids tell their father on a regular basis how thankful they are for what he does for them. Your audience is watching. It is important for children to learn how to show respect to others and to themselves. I felt guilty and I said sorry to her. It is also important to teach your child that they should expect to be treated with respect by others (8). Was it because you were angry?” She nodded. Not that I’m saying I’m never harsh to my child. But every time I was tempted to take such a shortcut, I reminded myself how I hated it when I was treated like that as a child and how it would only earn me disrespect. Explain to them what they have done, and how it was disrespectful. Explain to your child, when a person is disrespected, it can make them feel bad. Modeling respect is one of the easiest ways to teach children to be respectful. I saw you that let your friend have the toy you both wanted. On the contrary, you are reinforcing your authority and credibility. If your friend made you sad by making you give them the toy, they were not being respectful to you. The outcome should be to ensure the children to lead a happy and healthy life and treat people with respect and gentleness. See the irony in these two examples? It can seem hard at times, but, once the groundwork is laid, it gets much easier. Sometimes it may be accidental, while at other times, it can be deliberate. As much as I want my little one to be a mini-me and like exactly the same things I do, she is not. To teach respect, first, we need to stay calm and stay in control. Your child’s disrespect may be a result of spending time with friends whose families have different standards. I taught her that having emotions was normal, but shouting was not OK. Treating children disrespectfully will just make them lose their respect for us (think about the mean boss example above). To teach respect in the classroom we must be able to define it. A sense of respect is vital to succeeding in school, holding down a job, and having adult relationships. Depending on how serious the incident was, you may want to provide a warning, or it might be appropriate to apply a suitable punishment. I was angry. Why is there such a big difference in how we treat others compared to how we treat our children? Respect is also an act of giving attention or showing care. Sometimes, being respectful needs focus. The information provided on this website is not intended to be a replacement or substitute for professional medical advice. Being respectful can take your child far in life. Think about a chain smoker telling his child not to smoke. It can seem hard at times, but, once the groundwork is laid, it gets much easier. But little children don’t understand all this. In that case, either a simple comment at the time, or a discussion about it later can be the best way to respond. I repeated that request at every step she took on the 14-step staircase. Admittedly, I sometimes wondered if I should just go the “easy” route to save myself some time and frustration after telling my daughter not to make a mess a gazillion times. Parents spend so much effort, time and money to care for their little ones. Many families find their child displays disrespectful behavior to others after staying with older relatives who may have different policies regarding language and behavior. So how do we teach our children to respect their fathers? Their entire lives changed and started to revolve around their children the moment they were born. Don’t yell, or talk loudly over someone else who is talking. When we teach and model respectful behavior, we’ll end up imparting basic lessons about kindness, consideration, honesty, and empathy, as well as gratitude. My child has her own liking. What really helps is understanding why we parent the way we do. But if you want your child to respect you, start with respecting their choices. Explain to your child which words and actions show respect and which ones do not. I showed her that when you were frustrated, you could be rude and disrespectful. I understand the occasional outbursts in the heat of the moment, especially when we’re dead tired doing all sorts of grownup stuff, like working, housekeeping, and what else, parenting. While you might see these life changes as something positive, your child might be struggling to cope. If you tell your child they must say please and thank you to Grandma, they may not be emotionally mature enough to apply that to Grandpa or other relatives. I’m your mother/father!”. Right now, it is my turn, and I will give you the toy after.” That way, you are respecting your friend’s feelings, and not making yourself sad. Identify if this is a real “disrespect” situation, a misunderstanding or simply because the child hasn’t learned the proper response in such a situation. MG novel TKN’s Joyce Grant. If you see someone acting disrespectfully, ask your child whether they think that person was being respectful or disrespectful. If other kids are mad at you for something you have done, does it make you a bad girl?” She shook her head determinedly. Telling them to respect you and not respecting others makes it difficult for a child to follow your teaching. By always disregarding the time of others, your kids will assume that time isn’t relevant. Respect can mean different things depending upon whom you ask, but most of us can agree it’s an important concept to teach to our children. How Respect is Learned. So, out of instinct, they want to hurt you back. Have toddler tantrum problem? Only when we self-reflect on ourselves can we model introspection to our children. Respect is admiring or looking up to someone because that person has done something extraordinary or possesses impressive abilities. And you have modeled the lack of respect well since their childhood. Follow the rules to show you care about the person who set them. Apologizing to your child does not undermine your authority as a parent. ‘The Story Behind the Story” — now on Soundcloud. (Grades K-12) Additional lesson ideas. Having a deeper self-understanding can help one become a better parent. The younger your child is, the more difficulty they will have applying a concept to all situations. Instead, I just sat at my desk and shouted my command, while she was fully immersed in tasting the yummy cookies. In these situations, emotions are often high, and that is not the best time to formulate your response. You can then explain that your words and actions can show respect or a lack of it. She simply couldn’t pay any attention to me until she entered the room and saw me. Teaching respect, honesty, and gratitude at school and in the classroom requires these social-emotional learning lessons and hands-on activities for kids. The number one place that children learn respect is in the home, so it's a parent's responsibility to teach these skills early and consistently. We won’t bore you with dictionary definitions—they’re not particularly helpful when working with kids, anyhow. I said it one more time when she was at my door. Then, you can say that, when you feel respect for someone, you want to be polite and kind toward that person. Respect means treating other people the way you would like to be treated, and acknowledging the thoughts and opinions of others. If your teacher is talking to another child, and you would like to speak, wait for the other person to finish. Leah Alexander has been featured on Healthline, Verywell Fit, Romper, and other high profile publications. Respect is one of the most important, fundamental skills a child can ever learn. Meaning we need to be kind to all and show every person and animal respect. 526 likes. The only way to teach this virtue is to show. Teach Kids Respect is part of the Knoodlehead Series to educate kids on being respectful of others regardless of looks or skin color If the words or behavior are significant, or you have provided a warning which is then ignored, you may have to demonstrate to your child that there is a negative consequence to their action (11). Give your child real reasons to respect you by being a good role model. A mother would snap at her son, “Hey, I told you not to do this. For most parents, that is a very disrespectful thing for a child to say. It teaches your kids to respect others and acknowledge their impact on other people. True story. Then, ask your child how they think the other person felt, and how things could have been handled more respectfully. That’s what you were doing, and that’s good. Respect is caring how words and actions may impact others. Years later, when they’re all grown up, you may wonder why your grown children don’t have respect for you anymore. Despite that, I will never use it as the default way to treat my child, nor will I justify doing so is OK or necessary. Teaching children respect can maintain healthy relationships with their dear and near ones and with their class fellows, friends and teachers etc. This includes the way you speak about your spouse and co-workers. If your child is displaying a lack of respect for a person, or for someone’s thoughts and feelings, consider whether you do the same thing (2). If your child is disrespectful, tell them that their behavior is not okay. By using these hints and tips, you can help your child be more respectful, avoid unnecessary confrontation, and remain calm in the face of adversity. They see first-hand how to treat others who have different opinions. Kids are greatly influenced throughout their day by adults – whether it be a parent, teacher, or coach. By saying sorry you are showing them that even though it might be difficult or embarrassing they are willing to be uncomfortable in order to show them that they respect the person that has been wronged. Did you feel happy to do it, or did you feel sad, like you had to give them the toy? The feeling of respect needs to come from within and you cannot force someone to respect you. Most of us are not this extreme but we still do some variations of preference policing. NOW.”. And we cannot teach respect by being disrespectful to our children. We ourselves decided to take on these responsibilities. Granted, there are often situations where disrespectful kids really do outrageous or disrespectful things, but it could be because they don’t know any better at that age or they miss the cue. Teaching kids to respect others begins by setting a good example to follow. When children’s differences are accepted, they feel heard and respected. 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